Phil Parham Read online

  Even when you don’t think your children are watching you, know that they are. And they are also learning from your behaviors. If you yell and scream when you’re upset, they’ll learn to do the same. If you are even-tempered and levelheaded, they will react in similar fashion. When conflict arises, teach your children to discuss things calmly and rationally. Exhibit calm and rational behavior such as patiently listening to all sides of an argument and showing respect for all parties involved. One thing is certain: stressful times will come. It’s up to you to handle them the best way possible.

  Maintain close relationships with your spouse, family, and friends. Being socially well-rounded is critical to leading a balanced life. While it’s necessary to spend quality time with your children, you should also spend time with other people you are close to, such as your spouse, your sister, or your best friend. This teaches your children that healthy and nurturing relationships are a big deal. They help us grow and develop and give us an opportunity to practice love, mercy, and kindness. I like what Anthony Robbins said, “The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.”

  Phillip and I have regular date nights without the kids. We don’t do this because we don’t enjoy or want to be around our kids. We do this to cultivate our relationship so we can become a better wife and a better husband. In turn, we become better parents. Our children appreciate that Phillip and I want to spend time together as a couple. They really get a kick out of it.

  We also invest in our friendships. Our world does not revolve solely around our family or our problems. As human beings, we all need each other.

  Make a difference in the lives of others. It is our God-given responsibility to help others who are less fortunate than we are. The Bible says,

  What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead (James 2:14-17).

  If you are a believer, you have a responsibility to help those in need. This is an act of faith that takes our belief beyond words and creeds. It moves us toward action. God made us to take care of others. I’ve found this to be a cyclic thing. When you start doing good to others, you’ll notice others start doing good to you. When you help out someone, you’ll find help just when you need it.

  Teach your kids this cardinal lesson. Set the example for them. Do something that, as the movie title says, pays it forward. It can be as simple as picking up trash at your local park, volunteering at a charitable organization, or helping a neighbor mow her yard.

  Most of us have been blessed beyond measure. God is pleased when we are faithful stewards of what we have. Teach your children to be generous, charitable, and aware of others. They will likely keep those same characteristics as adults and therefore live a more meaningful and enriching life. There is no greater gift than to help someone who is less fortunate than we are. The rewards far surpass anything tangible or material.

  One Step at a Time

  These are just a few areas in which you can be a role model. Don’t get overwhelmed if you feel as if this list means you have to turn your life upside down. Take one recommendation at a time and focus on making the right adjustments in that area. You could start by shutting off the TV every now and then or throwing out all the junk food in your house. Once you think you have overcome an area, start working on another. If you find you are dealing with something that’s too hard to change on your own, get outside help. Find a therapist or support group to help you.

  We can no longer simply wish for change in our families; we have to initiate that change. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. It’s like John Porter said, “People underestimate their capacity for change. There is never a right time to do a difficult thing. A leader’s job is to help people have vision of their potential.” Your job as a mother or father is to lead your children by example. Show them what is possible for them. Help them see the vision of a healthy and fit lifestyle.

  When God gave you your children, He entrusted you to take care of them to the best of your knowledge and ability. When you set a good example for your children, you are actually honoring and serving God in your actions. Trust Him to give you the strength to make the changes necessary to make your family the best it can be.

  How Healthy Are You?

  Here is a simple assessment to gauge the quality of your health. I recommend talking with your family doctor to determine if you are at a healthy weight and what, if any, medical problems you may have as a result of any excess weight.

  Read these questions and review your answers (with a doctor if possible). Identify some areas that you may need to change or improve.

  1. What is your blood pressure? __________. You can have your blood pressure checked by your doctor or visit a local pharmacy that offers self-service blood pressure stations. Compare your number to the chart below. Is it in a healthy range?

  Category Blood Pressure

  Normal <120/80

  Prehypertension 120–139/80–89

  Hypertension: Stage 1 140–159/90–99

  Hypertension: Stage 2 160–179/100–109≥180/110

  National Institutes of Health, August 2004

  2. How much do you weigh?__________. Most of you have a scale at home or can get weighed at your doctor’s office. Compare your number with the chart on the next page. Is it in a healthy range? To calculate your frame type, place your thumb and index finger around your wrist. If your finger overlaps the thumb, you are “Small Frame.” If they touch, you are “Medium Frame.” If they do not touch, you are “Large Frame.”

  3. What is your body mass index (BMI)?__________. We talked about this in the previous chapter. The Department of Health and Human Services has a nifty BMI calculator that’s easy to use (www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/). Just plug in your height and weight and it will figure it out for you. This site will also tell you if you have a healthy BMI.

  4. Do you drink at least eight glasses of water a day? If not, you’re not drinking enough water. Do you drink soda or other sugary drinks instead?

  5. How many hours do you spend watching TV, socializing online, or surfing the Internet? Be honest with yourself. Can you cut down on some of this time to engage in activities that are more active, healthy, and mentally stimulating?

  Use your answers as a barometer to measure the kind of example you are setting for your children. If you need to improve some aspects of your lifestyle, I encourage you to work on them during this “Challenge.” Don’t feel bad if your assessment isn’t so great. Use it as a learning tool to start developing better health habits.

  Plan of Action

  • Set the example. Role-model good health for your children.

  • Be passionate about a particular healthy activity or a general healthy lifestyle. Get excited about it so your kids will catch your enthusiasm.

  • Talk to a physician or evaluate your own health to determine what areas you can improve.

  • Take small steps to increase the quality of your health each day. Believe me, your kids will notice.

  We’ve got a lot of learning to do when it comes to what we put in our mouth. In the next chapter, you’ll learn how to eat, what to eat, when to eat, and the best and worst foods for you and your family. Don’t worry. Eating healthy is not boring or tasteless. We’re going to make this as delicious for you as we can.

  4

  Nutrition Sense for Your Family

  A Note from Phil

  I wish my parents had taught me about good nutrition. Though my mother put plenty of vegetables on the table, we weren’t given any guidance about what food was good for us and why. I ate what I liked, and my parents reinforced that behavior. If it tasted good, I ate it. If I ate it, they bought it.

  As a parent, it’s crucial to know the b
uilding blocks of good nutrition so you can teach your kids how and what to eat. Good nutrition is not a diet; it’s a lifestyle. Proper eating habits and lifestyle modification are things you can learn to do that have lasting benefits.

  The starting point is to understand why we eat. We eat to fuel our bodies. We don’t eat to comfort our emotions, to make us feel better, to fill a void, or to satisfy our cravings. We eat to give our body the fuel it needs to work at an optimal level. I like to say that we eat to live. Every time you sit down to eat a meal or snack, you have to ask yourself whether it will fuel your body or slow it down. This is a mind game you have to conquer and this is something you must teach your kids. If they learn early enough that food is not an emotional crutch, they will be more likely to live by this lifestyle principle as they get older.

  Having a nutritious lifestyle doesn’t mean you can’t ever have some ice cream or a piece of cake. The key is moderation. A slice of pizza every now and then won’t compromise your health; just don’t make it a habit. We’ve also learned that when you snack or treat on something, there are also healthier alternatives. We’ll talk about some of this later in this chapter.

  The Big Picture

  Think Natural

  Good nutrition means choosing foods that are natural, such as fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts, and lean meats. Natural means that the food is as close to its original state as possible and has not been or is only minimally processed. Your body functions best when it is nourished by natural foods.

  Did you know that our bodies are efficient at healing themselves with the right foods? You’ll notice the more natural you eat, the less you are sick. Americans are among the sickest people in the world. I believe it comes back to our diet. Too many people in our country eat at fast-food restaurants too often. All that preservative-filled junk is what is sending us to an early grave. It’s this simple: Stop eating fast food. Drive past the drive-thru.

  Below is a list of basic foods that has helped Amy and me keep the weight off. We feed our children from the basic sources of food below (the breakdown of protein, carbohydrates, and fat will be explained later in this chapter). This preliminary list will also give you an idea of what we mean by eating natural. A more comprehensive shopping list will be discussed in chapter 7 and listed in appendix A.

  Protein Source

  • eat only lean cuts of meat: chicken, turkey, fish, beef (sirloin or round cuts), lamb

  • turkey (sausage, ground, whole)

  • eggs

  • vegetarian choices include firm tofu, tempeh, cooked lentils, kidney beans, lima beans, black beans, chickpeas

  Carb Sources

  • oatmeal (not instant)

  • fruit

  • vegetables, vegetables, vegetables

  • brown rice

  • whole grains

  Fat Sources

  • olive oil (the best to use for cooking; use cold-pressed, extra virgin olive oil)

  • safflower oil

  • coconut oil (great for high-heat cooking)

  • almond oil

  • avocado

  How Much Should We Eat?

  There is so much different information about how much and what kids need to eat at a particular age. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s new Food Pyramid, the five main food groups that your child’s meals and snacks should come from are:

  • Grains—any food made from wheat, rice, oats, cornmeal, barley, or another cereal grain. Eat whole grains such as whole-wheat bread, brown rice, and oatmeal.

  • Vegetables—any vegetable or 100-percent vegetable juice.

  • Fruits—any fruit or 100-percent fruit juice.

  • Milk—all fluid milk products and many foods made from milk, such as cheese and butter.

  • Meat and Beans—all foods made from meat, poultry, fish, dry beans or peas, eggs, nuts, and seeds are considered part of this group.

  The chart on the following two pages specifies the amounts your child will need at different ages to maintain a healthy diet. Keep in mind this recommendation is based on children who get less than 30 minutes per day of moderate physical activity, beyond normal daily activities. Kids who are more physically active may be able to eat more.

  (To get a better grasp on how much you need to eat as an adult, refer to our first book, The 90-Day Fitness Challenge, for more information.)

  GRAINS

  Daily Recommendation Daily Minimum Amount of Whole Grains

  Children 2–3 years old 3-ounce equivalents 1½-ounce equivalents

  Children 4–8 years old 4–5-ounce equivalents 2–2½-ounce equivalents

  Girls 9–13 years old 5-ounce equivalents 3-ounce equivalents

  Girls 14–18 years old 6-ounce equivalents 3-ounce equivalents

  Boys 9–13 years old 6-ounce equivalents 3-ounce equivalents

  Boys 14–18 years old 7-ounce equivalents 3½-ounce equivalents

  VEGETABLES

  Daily Recommendation

  Children 2–3 years old 1 cup

  Children 4–8 years old 1½ cups

  Girls 9–13 years old 2 cups

  Girls 14–18 years old 2½ cups

  Boys 9–13 years old 2½ cups

  Boys 14–18 years old 3 cups

  FRUITS

  Daily Recommendation

  Children 2–3 years old 1 cup

  Children 4–8 years old 1 to 1½ cups

  Girls 9–13 years old 1½ cups

  Girls 14–18 years old 1½ cups

  Boys 9–13 years old 1½ cups

  Boys 14–18 years old 2 cups

  MILK

  Daily Recommendation

  Children 2–3 years old 2 cups

  Children 4–8 years old 2 cups

  Girls 9–13 years old 3 cups

  Girls 14–18 years old 3 cups

  Boys 9–13 years old 3 cups

  Boys 14–18 years old 3 cups

  MEAT AND BEANS

  Daily Recommendation

  Children 2–3 years old 2-ounce equivalents

  Children 4–8 years old 3–4-ounce equivalents

  Girls 9–13 years old 5-ounce equivalents

  Girls 14–18 years old 5-ounce equivalents

  Boys 9–13 years old 5-ounce equivalents

  Boys 14–18 years old 6-ounce equivalents

  Tips for Success

  Drink Your Water

  Water is a vital component of good health because much of our bodies consist of it. If we don’t drink enough, we become dehydrated and can get a whole slew of health problems. Here are a few of the reasons you and your family should be drinking more water:

  • Keeps your energy up

  • Keeps your weight down

  • Removes waste and eliminates toxins

  • Helps carry nutrients and oxygen to cells

  • Cushions joints

  • Helps body absorb nutrients

  • Hydrates skin and hair

  • Regulates body temperature

  How much water is enough? Adults need to drink half their body’s weight in ounces of water each day. So if you weigh 200 pounds, you should be drinking 100 ounces of water. For children, there isn’t any magic number. Most experts suggest 6–8 ounces of water and more than that if they are playing or exercising hard.

  Drinking water is a challenge for many kids because they prefer soda or other sugary drinks instead. (We’ll talk more about the dangers of soda later in this chapter.) When Amy and I got back from the ranch, we got rid of all the soda in the house; now the only beverages we regularly stock are water and milk. We occasionally allow some fruit drinks such as apple, orange, or grape, but we make sure the sugar content is low or that it is 100-percent juice (no added sugar). We often tell our kids to drink equal parts fruit juice and water to cut down on the sugar content.

  When we eliminated soda from our house, our boys complained like you wouldn’t believe. Amy and I jokingly refer to our “soda ban” as ripping off a Band-Aid. One day the soda was just n
ot available to our kids, and they couldn’t do a thing about it. It took several months for them to quit whining about not being able to drink soda, but finally they developed a taste for water. After a year, they started using such words as dehydration and saying they needed more water.

  Bring on the Fiber

  Fiber is a nutrient we don’t often talk about but is wildly important to our bodies. Fiber refers to carbohydrates that cannot be digested. It’s present in all plants that are eaten for food, including fruits, vegetables, grains, and legumes.

  Fiber benefits us in several ways:

  • Curbs overeating because it fills us up.

  • Steadies blood-sugar levels.

  • Slows down fat absorption.

  • Reduces cholesterol.

  • Promotes bowel regularity.

  Keep in mind that not all fiber is the same. There are two types of fiber, soluble and insoluble, and they affect your body in different ways. Soluble fiber absorbs water in the intestine and slows the rate of glucose digestion and absorption in the bloodstream. Insoluble fiber adds bulk and softness to your stool and aids elimination.

  The best sources of soluble fiber are:

  • oat bran

  • kidney beans

  • lentils

  • sweet potatoes

  • oranges

  • broccoli

  • pears

  • apples

  • barley

  • peas

  The best sources of insoluble fiber are:

  • wheat bran

  • legumes